We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize