Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
