White coat. Heels.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
