very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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