I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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