Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
