i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Farmville is her only friend.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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