Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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