perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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