why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
