and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
