dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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