I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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