He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
