it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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