My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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