She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
