I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
