i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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