So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize