South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
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