we have officially lost it.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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