He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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