Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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