What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
