i barfeds in our rink
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize