Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
