HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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