i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
His nipple licking is glorious
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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