I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wear drunk well.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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