We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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