I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
