Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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