Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Boobs speak an international language.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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