I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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