its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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