Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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