I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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