The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
