I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
