Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
