Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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