he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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