from now on my penis is your penis
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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