if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There's always time for handjobs
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
