we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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