I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
