This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
