you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
