What a fucking waste of an outfit
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
should my penis look like a turkey
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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