remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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