There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
