I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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