she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just pee around me
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
