you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize