Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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