Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
false alarm, still single
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
